The value of stepping away is not what you experience there … It’s what remains when you return.
In March, I wrote from a yoga ashram in India about why I took an intentional pause … stepping away from the forward momentum of a surgical career to examine alignment.
Now that I have returned, the most important question is not: “what happened there?”
It is this: “Did anything actually change?”
What Actually Happened There
There was no single “aha” moment. But there were a series of experiences that, taken together, shifted something.
The First Few Days: Restlessness
Getting there was not simple. I dealt with many frustrations and obstacles on my journey, including:
- Reticketing to avoid a closed Middle East airport.
- Delays. A long layover. A missed connection. Minimal sleep.
- Limited Wi-Fi and almost no ability to navigate changes in real time.
- A brief stay in a modest Mumbai hotel.
- Then a four-hour drive from Kolkata to the ashram that, at times, felt unpredictable enough to be unsettling.
And then … arrival.
- Early morning meditation and yoga sessions that lasted longer than felt comfortable.
- Frequent electricity and Wi-Fi outages.
- A 13.5-hour time difference made communication with home difficult.
- A small group, 6 to 10 people at any given time.
And then… stillness.
Despite thinking I was prepared, it became immediately clear that this was not as easy as I had imagined.
There was a constant pull toward old habits – wanting to stay caught up, to get ahead, to do something. It was a reminder that stillness is not natural when your baseline is momentum.
The Simplicity of Repetition and Reset
The days quickly became structured and repetitive:
- Wake. Basic routine. Meditation and yoga. Breakfast. Breathwork. Lunch. Rest or ashram upkeep. Yoga. Dinner. Wind down. Sleep. Repeat.
At first, it sounded simple. In reality, much of it was challenging.
I had expected some degree of realignment, but I underestimated how central health and wellness would be to the experience. I participated in a two-day saltwater cleanse followed by a five-day water-only fast. Surprisingly, it was not as difficult as I might have expected. But I also chose not to extend it simply to prove I could.
Afterward, there was a gradual return to food – kitchari (rice and lentils), followed by a vegetarian diet with minimal spices.
What became noticeable after several days was not a dramatic change, but clarity. With the removal of constant stimulation – from work, from devices, from variability – my thinking became quieter and more focused.
A Moment During Breathwork
Midday sessions often focused on controlled breathing … pranayama. Deliberate control of inhalation and exhalation:
- Slow breathing. Rapid breathing.
- Left nostril. Right nostril. Both.
- Holding. Expanding the diaphragm. Expanding the chest.
What stood out was not the complexity, but the effect. Breathing felt clearer afterward. Not just physically, but mentally too.
Physical Awareness
There were repeated moments during yoga when my posture was subtly adjusted with small corrections. Gentle cues to release tension I didn’t realize I was holding.
What surprised me was not the presence of stiffness, but how much of it I had assumed was permanent. With repetition and longer holds, strength improved … particularly in my back and right shoulder.
Sleep, which was initially inconsistent, became more reliable by the third week.
There was also significant weight loss — approximately 18 pounds. With consistent hydration, this felt less like fluctuation and more like true physiologic change. Digestion became notably easier with simple, unprocessed, vegetarian food.
In a follow up article, I’ll share what I did and did not bring back with me and explain how this experience impacts my daily life now that I’m back in the OR.